Tag: writing

  • How to act like a human (for dogs)

    One- stand up: Humans have two legs. Don’t walk around on all fours Two- wear clothes: “Put some clothes on, no one wants to see that thing!” is what humans say to naked humans. REMEMBER: No shirt, no shoes, no service. Three- buddy up: smaller dogs- stand on top of each other and wear a…

  • TWO THINGS

    Two creative exercises done while walking ONE: weird characters I came up with this week that I have no intention in using for anything but would like to keep record of. 1. A three year old girl who wants to be an old woman. she dresses up in a cotton shawl and a cane with an…

  • Write like a _____

    Writing, huh? It takes a lot of time, a lot of effort. Your butt has to be in a chair. Bring a notebook everywhere you go. Write like a motherfucker.   Yes. Yes yes yes yes.   I truly believe in all of that. Not just for writing, but for anything that’s worth doing. Invest…

  • Your Horoscope for this week

    Virgo: Where did you put your car keys? They are in your hand. Every time you ask, they are in your hand.

  • What is the first story that you never wanted to leave?

    I’ve written about The Little Mermaid before.  I saw it when it came out in theaters. I wore out two VHS tapes rewinding and fast forwarding. (VHS is what we had before DVDs, guys). I daydreamed of having cooking shows with that French chef.  I related to Ariel and wanted to be Ursula: I loved Ariel, I…

  • I fixed the horoscops

    (From Rob Brezsney’s “Free Will Astrology: for Oct 17-23” Page 110 of the Austin Chronicle) Scorpio: Late summer apple tree. A branch. Later, this gravity. Fast the space of him, his omens would be comparable. Sagittarius: Most birds don’t sing. Somewhere that isn’t this mottled tune, this creature deserves you: human, detached, above your own…

  • List: certanties in life other than death and taxes *

    1.  baby teeth 2.  thirst 3.  hunger 4.  loss 5.  calluses 6.  alienation 7.  breast milk 8.  belly button lint 9.  yearning 10. sand getting into crevices 11. bad movies 12. hair loss 13. indigestion 14. laughter 15. darkness 16. popcorn getting stuck in teeth 17. missing socks 18. pain 19. hope 20. misunderstandings *based…

  • Outside my front door, 6pm on Saturday

      It has been raining here an awful lot for a town that’s in a drought. (not that we are no longer in a drought, just like your being well-employed does not cancel out the recession.) When it isn’t raining the weather is unbearable. Not because of the heat, but because of the dryness. (With…